did you tell them
you don’t have
money for the bus
too much income
so how much
do you get
a month
thousand dollars
doesn’t go far
five hundred
for rent
yes you need
the phone
no child support
nothing for her
so they want you
to send her
to school
on the city bus
no school bus
because she can
walk and talk
unaided
that’s what
they said
you told them
she has special ed
you told them
why you can’t work
that’s right
no child left behind
as long as
mommy can drive
Ziji Salaam
9/1/09
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I think that the absence of punctuation in this poem works effectively to deliver the "feel" of eavesdropping to the reader -- talk that is overheard (perhaps in snatches, perhaps in varying degrees of volume, clarity, or completeness) sometimes "feels" disembodied, as if not contained by the bones of punctuation. In this poem, strategy fits content; manner fits matter.
ReplyDeleteNice work. Reminder of how litte "too much" can be.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Therese on this. Your message was so well communicated as eavesdropping or overhearing with this stylistic choice.
ReplyDeleteI quite like what you came up with.
Mark
http://radio-nowhere.org/nb/